Memoirs Of A Nascent Triathlete, Or Not Setting Yourself Up For Failure

Many moons ago, after college graduation, I was feeling lost and out of sorts, not sure about how to proceed forward and what path to ultimately take. This was 2007.

I had completed a Biology degree from Binghamton University, and was intending to take the MCAT, to apply to medical schools. It seemed like the best path I could pursue at the time, given my limited knowledge of the way the world works and my horrible understanding of my own emotions relating to the subject of success. I had drunk the Kool Aid, assuming that all I had to do was prove myself in an grueling, demanding, and ultimately unrewarding field to somehow show everyone how worthy I was.

I know, sickening to see myself in such a state. Not to mention the detriment to my health and finances... most of my doctor friends are miserable, sleep deprived and overweight. Their personal transformation has been put on hold, the pilot light on their desire is flickering: they have very little balance in their personal vs. professional lives. Many have confirmed that given another chance, they would not choose the same path. Dodged a bullet there.

Anyway, having just finished two semesters of being on the crew team, about to turn 22 years old, I was in the best shape of my life thusfar. I wanted to keep my training regimen up and my brain operating at full useless fact cramming capability. I knew I could run 10-15 miles at the drop of a hat, and I knew how to ride a bike, so why not do a triathlon? Swimming shouldn't be that hard to learn, right?

Wrong. Fast forward three months, I had been studying diligently for the MCAT, routinely getting 11's and 12's in the practice tests on the 3 sections. My writing and reading comprehension has always been strong, so wasn't worried there, and decided to focus most of my efforts on physics, which was at the time my weakest subject. Overall I was expecting a score north of 35, which would easily, when coupled with my grades and extracurricular activities, get me into some of the higher tier medical schools to which I had been applying.

Over the course of that summer, I managed to raise my physics scores 50% and my bio and chem an average of 30%. I had also kept in shape, done a few miserable open water swims, but never in a wetsuit. I didn't have access to a lap pool, and had no one to mentor me. Did this deter me from my unrealistic goals? Well, if you think it did, you don't know how stubborn I can be when I set my sights on something.

The triathlon was scheduled for two weeks after the MCAT, so no issue there. The big day came, I went to take the test, and did pretty well on the Bio, Physics and Chem portions. I was confident, right until the Verbal section. See, I had always studied on paper, and wasn't really anticipating how different it might be now that the test was recently mandated to be taken on a computer.

We can argue how fair this was til we're blue in the face, but let's just agree that I wasn't prepared to make the transition to reading for comprehension on a paper test in a quiet lecture hall-- what I had been used to for the prior 4 years in college-- to the incessant clacking of PC keyboards in miserable gray cubicles with everyone and their brother tapping, clacking and shifting in their computer chairs around me. Long story short, I couldn't focus, had a mini panic attack, and in my attempts to calm and center myself succeeded only in running out of time, compounding my anxiety, which eventually left me so exasperated that I ended up forfeiting the results and walking away, dejected, from my first attempt at acing the MCAT.

Now, since it was the summer, and you had to have your scores in by a certain cutoff (end of August) to be considered for entry to the following year's class at most schools, I only had one option to consider. Take the MCAT the day after the triathlon, in New Jersey. No problem, right? Let's not pay attention to the fact that the silly tri was a distraction, and I live on Long Island, which means driving through NY weekend traffic to get there? I'll be nice and relaxed from the previous day's exertion, right?

Wrong again. On race day, it was unseasonably cold and choppy overlooking Oyster Bay for August. The water was cold, the air was cold, and the wind was whipping. In my haste to prepare with my dismal budget, I had the cheapest and most ill fitting wetsuit I could buy, a $200 Coleman brand mountain bike, (Camping gear "Coleman"? They make bikes? Exactly.) bad shoes and a bad plan. Terrible preparation overall for a nascent triathlete. Over enthusiasm and stubbornness were the only assets I could have objectively listed in the pro column.

So the day comes, and off into the water we went. When the starting gun fired, I was in the middle of the pack in the 12th of 13 waves, and ended up finishing dead last. So far to the back of the pack, in fact, that the lifeguards were paddle boarding behind me, taking in the buoys as we went. They bore witness to my personal swim of shame, offering to take mercy on me and pull me out of the water. Instead, exhausted but determined to finish, I swam, as inefficiently as humanly possible, more like a drowning monkey, and eventually dragged my own ass out of that freezing Long Island muck that we call the Sound. Sheer stubbornness had cashed the check that my ass was in no position to write.

The photographer for the results newsletter got a great shot of me which I hung on the wall for posterity, along with my finishers medal. I included a pic (attached) because it so perfectly and accurately captures a man so far out of his depth. To twist the knife a bit deeper, included with it was the caption: "And the last shall be first"... when I got the photo I was in full on aimless wandering mode, so I cut it out as a feeble attempt to trauma block a bad experience, yet again. I've since become aware of how often I do this. Blocking traumatic experiences and not truly dealing with them emotionally, but that came much later. I should have kept it, in retrospect, because life is long and there are many opportunities to redeem yourself.

So out of the water and up to the bike station I went, legs frozen, shedding my suit as quickly as possible, wanting desperately, more badly than anything, to finish before someone, anyone, who had passed me in the swim, which was everyone. That became my singular obsession to the detriment of all rational thought.

I hastily tried to dry off, barely changed out of my wet clothes, and donned my woefully ill equipped bike for the long and cold ride up and down the hills of the surrounding hamlets, replete with old money Great Gatsby-esque views. I managed to pass a few folks on the ride up, and started to really enjoy the racing experience, despite being chilled to the bone. I finished the biking portion, little worse for wear, having passed at least a dozen other racers along the way. My hubris was right there waiting for me when I got back to the changing station.

Not ten steps into the run, having forgotten to take a minute and stretch, my dead legs wouldn't cooperate and I twisted my knee. I was so close now, only a 5k away from the finish line, I had to complete what I had started. Never again, I kept saying over and over again. If you just finish this race, you can nail the MCAT tomorrow, get into school, and you never have to subject yourself to something this crazy again. I was full of bad ideas that day.

Somehow I managed to drag my limping ass across the finish line, wet with sweat and saltwater. Did I immediately start to load up on much needed nutrients and electrolytes to replenish my body? NOPE. I made a bee line to the Blue Point beer tent and claimed as many pints as I could swallow to celebrate my doing the damn near impossible. I had finished the race, but the war was far from over.

I don't remember much about the rest of the day, except being tired and proud of myself and stuffing my face with carbs. I woke up the next day fairly sure I had been hit by a truck. I was dehydrated, had a chest and head cold, a bum knee, and several phantom bumps and bruises whose origin I could not quite identify. My headache was an just one more symptom of just how screwed I was. CRAP! My test is today, and this is my last shot. I downed as much coffee, excedrin, and Dayquil as time permitted, and raced out to the Garden State to seal my fate.

Even in my addled state, I managed to pull out a 12 in Physics/Inorganic, an 11 in Bio/Organic, and top 4% in the country on the written portion of the MCAT. My verbal was dismal... a 7, with no chance to make it up for that year. I had been getting 11's and 12's on the practice tests, but combined with the computer test taking format and my exhaustion and illness bordering on delerium, it was just too much. I had met my match. I was solidly denied by all the top tier medical schools I had applied to. That turned my "maybe I'll take a gap year" plan into "I guess I have to take a gap year" and reevaluate. My 30 with the strong writing was better than average, but not good enough for the schools I wanted.

Dejected, I ran off to the city and worked as a bartender for a year to escape my troubles there. This strategy would become a recurring theme in my 20's. That path worked out better in the long run, but man, was I upset at the time. I felt like a failure, but I completely overlooked the fact that I had set myself up to fail. I wouldn't listen to anyone, and now I think I know better, but I still sometimes catch myself letting my optimism get in the way of reality.

Sometimes retrospect is your best friend, and some things that are bad in the moment are for the best in the long run. I learned a lot about my limits and setting realistic goals that summer. That temporary tragedy set me off on the path to where I am today. I learned just how human I really am. I have blown away all expectations that 22 year old had about success, and achieved more in a shorter amount of time than I have ever thought possible. So that's the silver lining on that story. Thanks for taking time to read this, it was cathartic writing it. Hopefully this story will help you put similar stories in your own life into perspective.

Update on Monday, April 29, 2013 at 4:36PM by Brad

Just in case you were wondering, I did eventually become a very strong swimmer, though it wasn't until I moved to San Francisco and had access to a pool everyday. I still incorporate swimming into my routine most days of the week and enjoy the hell out of it. This article made learning a whole lot easier for me.

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2008/08/13/total-immersion-how-i-learned-to-swim-effortlessly-in-10-days-and-you-can-too/

How Can You Make Great Coffee And Save A Bunch Of Cash?

Just did the math. Suppose I buy premium coffee and drink 16 oz a day.

At the local Dunkin' this size costs about $3. It's actually $2 and change but I always leave a tip, so figure $3. That's $90 a month.

If I make coffee at home, even the best Kenya AA, its only $15 a lb, which at 1/2 oz of beans per press, makes 32 rather strong 16oz cups. That's $15 a month. Even if you add in the cost of a grinder and french press amortized over the year, that's an enormous savings.

That means if I make (awesome) coffee at home, I save $900 a year. That's the best coffee I can find, not burnt or old, which is probably much healthier and fresher.

Anyway, I used to buy my coffee at Zabar's, but now that I live downtown, I've been going to Porto Rico, and I'm very impressed with the quality. As for gear, here are some links for some of my favorite french press and burr grinder. I've also made cold brew that comes out amazing. For further instructions, google around a bit.

French Press

Burr Grinder

Porto Rico Importers

How Do I Make Such A Great Steak?

All of my friends who I have cooked for ask me this question... and it's actually quite simple.

The secret to cooking a great steak is butter. Grass Fed Butter. I use KerryGold Irish Butter.
Fresh or Frozen, its a good idea to let the steaks approach room temperature before seasoning them liberally with salt and fresh ground black pepper. Some people like to use a Montreal Steak rub, but I think that's overkill and overpowers the natural flavor.

I live in the city, so most of my cooking is done on a stove top, not a grill. This is a recipe for pan frying, so here is a highly rated ceramic non stick pan. Use high heat (7/10) in your pan to melt the butter, then sear each side of the steak until theres a bit of good browning going on. The steak should sizzle immediately when it hits the pan. Once both sides are totally seared, that means the juices are locked in, so you can lower the heat, cover the pan, and wait 3-10 minutes depending on your desired level of doneness. This will be affected by the thickness as well. After cooking thousands of steaks in my life, I can use the touch test or just play it by ear. I love my meat Med-rare to rare, depending on the cut, with a nice sear on the outside.

The key to remember here is that the leaner the beef is, and grass fed beef and buffalo usually is very lean, the less you should cook it. You don't want shoe leather. You can always cook more, but not less, and it sucks to ruin a good steak. Med Rare/Rare is usually what I go for, which keeps the meat juicy and delicious. If the steak is corn fed and a little fattier, you may want to go for medium as it will create a much better flavor and be more tender overall.

Cuts: My favorite cuts in order of most to least preference:
Ribeye- By far the most flavorable and wonderful part of the cow. Yum.
Porterhouse
T-Bone
NY Strip
Filet Mignon
Everything else.

If you are sticking to a strict Paleo diet, its important to seek out beef that is:

1. Grass Fed AND Grass finished. No corn or wheat in the cattle's diet, that defeats the purpose of the diet and throws the fat content (specifically Omega3/6 ratios) all out of whack.


2. No hormones or antibiotics


3. Free range


4. Good grass fed beef will be less fatty and have a bright red hue. If you compare corn and grass fed steaks for look, texture and taste, its night and day.

You can buy grass fed beef from places like Whole Foods, or if you want to buy in bulk, there are some great options. If you live on the East Coast, TenderGrass Farms has some great deals. Unfortunately, as far as I know, Trader Joes does not offer grass fed steaks, but they do have some pretty good ground beef. Remember, unless the beef specifically says grass fed and grass finished, its not the best it can be. Organic, free range, all natural, USDA Prime, all of these labels allow for the feeding of corn to the animal, which fattens them up but makes them less healthy to eat. No wonder our medical establishment is constantly pointing to studies that say eating red meat is bad for you, while really its what we feed our animals is what’s making us sick.

More about the Paleo Diet, from Wikipedia.
The paleolithic diet (abbreviated paleo diet or paleodiet), also popularly referred to as the caveman diet, Stone Age diet and hunter-gatherer diet, is a modern nutritional plan based on the presumed ancient diet of wild plants and animals that various hominid species habitually consumed during the Paleolithic era—a period of about 2.5 million years duration that ended around 10,000 years ago with the development of agriculture and grain-based diets. In common usage, such terms as the "Paleolithic diet" also refer to the actual ancestral human diet.[1][2]
Centered on commonly available modern foods, the "contemporary" Paleolithic diet consists mainly of fish, grass-fed pasture raised meats, vegetables, fruit, fungi, roots, and nuts, and excludes grains, legumes, dairy products, refined salt, refined sugar, and processed oils.[1][3][4] There are many different alternatives that are available to replace the foods that have been eliminated. For example, coconut oil can be substituted for butter, almond flour can be substituted for white flour, and honey can be substituted for other sweeteners.